[CHARLIE, spoken]
Okay, I’ve got a lot to get through, and not a lot of time
And I feel like you weren’t hearing me before
So here it goes, ahem
(sung)
I know Hell’s population is out of control
It’s a bad situation, it’s taking a toll
If we rehab these sinners and cleanse all their souls
At my Hazbin Hotel, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself!
Right, extermination
I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year
And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here
If they join you in Heaven, that trip disappears!
You can wave that chore farewell
It’ll be a happy day in He— [ADAM] Let me stop you right there [CHARLIE, spoken] Oh [ADAM] Save us all precious time [CHARLIE, spoken] Okay
And I feel like you weren’t hearing me before
So here it goes, ahem
(sung)
I know Hell’s population is out of control
It’s a bad situation, it’s taking a toll
If we rehab these sinners and cleanse all their souls
At my Hazbin Hotel, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself!
Right, extermination
I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year
And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here
If they join you in Heaven, that trip disappears!
You can wave that chore farewell
It’ll be a happy day in He— [ADAM] Let me stop you right there [CHARLIE, spoken] Oh [ADAM] Save us all precious time [CHARLIE, spoken] Okay
[ADAM]
If what you’re suggesting is letting them climb
Up the ladder oh, they’d rather cross the Pearly Gates? [CHARLIE, spoken] Well, um [ADAM] Sorry sweetie, but there’s no defyin’ their fates
‘Cause Hell is forever, whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in a pot
‘Cause the rules are black and white
There’s no use in tryin’ to fight it
They’re burnin’ for their lives until we kill ’em again [CHARLIE, spoken] Okay, but [ADAM] Just try to chillax babe, you’re wasting your breath
Did I hear you imply that they don’t deserve death?!
Are they winners? Are they sinners?
‘Cause it’s cut and dry [CHARLIE, spoken] Well actually, if you take a look—
Up the ladder oh, they’d rather cross the Pearly Gates? [CHARLIE, spoken] Well, um [ADAM] Sorry sweetie, but there’s no defyin’ their fates
‘Cause Hell is forever, whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in a pot
‘Cause the rules are black and white
There’s no use in tryin’ to fight it
They’re burnin’ for their lives until we kill ’em again [CHARLIE, spoken] Okay, but [ADAM] Just try to chillax babe, you’re wasting your breath
Did I hear you imply that they don’t deserve death?!
Are they winners? Are they sinners?
‘Cause it’s cut and dry [CHARLIE, spoken] Well actually, if you take a look—
[ADAM]
Fair is fair, an eye for an eye
[ADAM, (ANGELS)]
And, when all’s said and done (Said and done)
There’s the question of fun
And for those of us with divine ordainment
Extermination is entertainment!
Bow-now-now-nownow, guitar solo, fuck yeah!
Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow [CHARLIE, spoken] Oh my god… [ADAM & ANGELS] Hell is forever, whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better [CHARLIE, spoken] Where did all of you people come from? [ADAM & ANGELS] Now they boil in a pot
‘Cause the rules are black and white
There’s no use in tryin’ to fight it
They’re burnin’ for their lives until we kill ’em again
There’s the question of fun
And for those of us with divine ordainment
Extermination is entertainment!
Bow-now-now-nownow, guitar solo, fuck yeah!
Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow [CHARLIE, spoken] Oh my god… [ADAM & ANGELS] Hell is forever, whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better [CHARLIE, spoken] Where did all of you people come from? [ADAM & ANGELS] Now they boil in a pot
‘Cause the rules are black and white
There’s no use in tryin’ to fight it
They’re burnin’ for their lives until we kill ’em again
[ADAM]
Fuckin’, Hell is forever and it’s meant to suck a lot
So give up your dumb endeavor, ’cause you don’t have a shot
Long as I got your attention
I guess I should probably mention
That we made the determination
To move up the next extermination [CHARLIE, spoken] What?! [ADAM] Can’t wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts
I know it’s just been a week, but we’ll be back in six months! [CHARLIE, spoken] Um, wait, didn’t you—
Ugh, shit!
So give up your dumb endeavor, ’cause you don’t have a shot
Long as I got your attention
I guess I should probably mention
That we made the determination
To move up the next extermination [CHARLIE, spoken] What?! [ADAM] Can’t wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts
I know it’s just been a week, but we’ll be back in six months! [CHARLIE, spoken] Um, wait, didn’t you—
Ugh, shit!